The Regiment of the 44th Good Root Disciples was formed partly because of the unfortunate demise of the 43rd regiment, and partly because of the Shooting Star that crossed the skies over Cist a long, long time ago (likely last March).
After the star had appeared, myriad (around 12) cults argued what it really was, each coming up with their own interpretation. They were ready to take up arms to prove they were right, and the resulting kerfuffle was later (April at the latest) known as the Idiotic Schism.
This is the story of the 44th Good Root Disciples, and their adventures in the distant land of Ptui.
The Shooting Star was, obviously, a new shoot of the Good Root sent from the heavens to the faithful. That's what the 44th Good Root Disciples said, and thus they were Right – it was everyone else who was Idiotic. Dame Emilia (pictured above), the Aspiring Bearer of the Lance, the Student of Strangling Harry, and the current Toff of the Regiment, led her soldiers to find the fallen Star and settle the argument.
The Star fell in the distant land of Ptui, but a few things had to be sorted out before taking up the long journey. After fighting and winning a skirmish against the local Fungo-Lycopersian Heretics (don't ask), Lieutenant Moszcz (pictured) was sent with a small detachment of soldiers to aid the defenders of the Great City of Geets, at that time under siege by rogue barons.
During the siege, due to complex logistical and provisioning problems (i.e. food ration spoilage), the Regiment stayed away from the front lines, and actually, away from any fighting whatsoever. This resulted in the Disciples taking only minimal casualties (no more than 1/5 of their total manpower).
More than a month after the siege was successfully lifted, the Lancers of the Regiment arrived to aid the defenders. Having spent the last few weeks in wayside inns, they valiantly joined victory feasts, stole a pennant from the 47th Tuberculose Musketeers, and left swiftly as soon as someone mentioned Geets reconstruction effort, leaving behind only a mysterious trail of unpaid bills.
Finally it was time to depart for Ptui, with the trusty unit of Chaff leading the way through the fog, presenting the benefits of a balanced diet with a display of their healthy, virile bodies.
Rising from the mud in foul rites of dark horticulture, the Rootlings joining the regiment in its march to Ptui were a gentle folk, with an affinity for a variety of root vegetables, living by their motto, "They Feed and Defend".
After innumerable days (lieutenant Moszcz lost count), the 44th Good Root Disciples were confident that to reach central Ptui, all they needed was to cross the gloomy Root Canal. On the other side of the dry gulch, they encountered the regiment of the 13th Royal Horseradish, also in search of the Star and en route to Ptui, and also quite confident that they need to cross the Canal – but in the opposing direction.
It is somewhat unclear how everyone involved, including Emilia and the shot-to-shit Lancers, was still alive when the Regiment reached the city of Grater Ptui. As soon as they arrived, their officer cadre was abducted by a monstrous stork – just as the Disciples encountered a rival cult, the Alemakers, composed entirely of Rootlings.
Without their commanders and with their enemies constantly regrowing, the Regiment fought a desperate and a very close battle to free their Snobs from chimney nests above. Much sweat was spilled, despite the cold wind blowing in the city (we played under an air conditioner), but the 44th ultimately won – and made peace with their opponents afterwards, cementing their friendship with a Rootling exchange that lasted for the rest of the Ptui expedition.
Somewhat desperate with their aimless wanderings, the Disciples were relieved to discover the Wishing Well, or rather, the Wishing Hole, situated in Lesser Ptui. The locals believed that if a virgin sacrifice is fed to the Hole, a blessing will be received, and the Regiment hoped that would show them the way to the Fallen Star.
With no portent other than a Rootling falling into the watery hole, friar Drożdż deduced that the Star also fell into water – the Great Water; the Sea. Now all the 44th needed was a seafaring vessel capable of fishing it out – and that vessel turned out the be the Pollock (above), acquired due to language barrier, as lieutenant Moszcz was asking the locals for a "fish boat".
The bay was full of boats, every one crewed by the command of another regiment that joined the Schism. The Shooting Star was fished out, sank again, then fished out once more by the cult of Oignionists.
A local legend has it that when they came ashore, Jadranko d'Oignion shared the Shooting Star with Šime of the Alemakers, Vitomir of the Horseradish, and Dame Emilia. The 44th Good Root Disciples carried the relic home, where it was planted to bring forth a new variety of the Good Root. The variety seems to be slow-growing, though, so to get any crops, they will probably need to wait a year, or twenty.
The story above was written down by the chroniclers of the Regiment who are low-paid mole people; its relationship with the truth may be somewhat shaky.
H.R.E.N.28 was an event held in Ljubljana on July 26-27, orchestrated by the absolutely wonderful Amulet D20 club. Great thanks to the organisers and all participants, whose artwork you can find under the links below. In no particular order:
Mangling Minis (thanks for the Milliput I used for my boat!),
Vane AKA Lord Blackfang 28, The Renowned Rules Writer,
Vladimir of vmkuriljov and shunakart (thanks for the sprues and the duck for the Pollock!),
and Blaž of blaz_slabe.
I checked the links and the list of people, but if I missed someone or made a mistake, my apologies! Please let me know on Discord and I'll add you.
If you write your own H.R.E.N. story, also let me know, and I'll link it down here.
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